My friend Sloan is a great writer. But if you are reading me, then you’ve probably already read him, so it’s likely that you know this. I was just reading his latest post, and the bit about his first marriage resonated with me. Hard. My ears are still ringing. I emerged from my own personal early “marriage” in a similar fashion, slimmer and healthier than I had been, and extremely bewildered, trying to figure out what had just happened. Not to mention, what had been happening for the previous 10 years of my life. Skipping your twenties by marrying early is a strange way to go. I don’t necessarily recommend it, but I don’t necessarily recommend against it either. Obviously, I still haven’t reconciled all of my feelings about that particular life path.

I remember going to my best friend’s wedding two summers ago and experiencing a certain amount of smugness that I didn’t quite enjoy, as it was a result of the fact that I’d already been through my first long-term relationship, so ostensibly I knew what he was in for. Which was wrong, of course. Every relationship is different. But the smugness was still there, lingering on like stale cigarette smoke on a wool jacket. I’d had a similar experience just a week before during his bachelor’s party. It was the time of night when we are all supposed to take turns giving him advice on how to make his marriage last. I realized that I had nothing good to tell him, which made me very sad, and frustrated, because I really wanted to be encouraging and supportive. I’m glad that my cynicism about these things has long since subsided, especially since I am now well into the early stages of my next “big thing”, hoping very much that I’ve learned something from the last one. I’m excited for the future, and feel very lucky that I’ve been able to connect with this wonderful woman with whom I’m hoping to share it.